Archive for 'Men_vs_Women'
Giving up Beer and Makeup
My wife has just told me I have to quit drinking beer because we can't afford it any more.
Then I pointed out she spent £65 on make up yesterday.
I asked her why I had to give up beer, and she didn't have to give up stuff.
She said the make up was to make her pretty for me.
I said the beer was for the same thing.
I don't think she's coming back :(
And they say blondes are dumb
One day my house work-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me:
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'University of Oklahoma'
And they say blondes are dumb...
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Living in a Two Story House – Reasons For Divorce
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge
quietly reviews some papers and then says,
"Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says,
"I live in a two-story house."
The Judge replies,
"What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story
house?"
The man answers,
"Well, Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is
'It's that time of the month.'"
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Five rules for men to follow for a happy life
Five rules for men to follow for a happy life.
- It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
- It’s important to have a woman who you can make laugh.
- It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
- It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
- It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
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FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE
- It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
- It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
- It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
- It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
- It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
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Chauvinistic Humour
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is the Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman that can't even afford a washing machine is probably too poor to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A Man once told me...."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men break wind more often than women?
Because a woman can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first?
The dog, of course, he'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she is told.
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